Thanksgiving gay

Thanksgiving is almost upon us and I want you to contain a serene holiday in which you feel love and deliver love. That can mean almost anything — but for some queer and trans folks that can mean not seeing one’s family of origin.

Here is your permission slip to avoid family that makes you feel less than, or where you possess to pretend to be someone you are not. I went through years of familial dinners in which my family knew I was queer, but I had to pretend otherwise. My grandparents never knew I was gay and my parents resisted that reality for decades.

My mother-in-law hated that my wife was gay and blamed me for “making” her a lesbian, since I was her first treasure in high school. My wife and I were together for 23 years until her sudden death while undergoing cancer treatment. My mother-in-law, with whom I spoke several times a week for years and with whom I spent more than a dozen Thanksgivings at my wife’s brother’s house, never spoke to me again after my wife’s death. It’s as if I never existed nor the breadth of our long, if complicated, relationship existed.

I’ve been blessed th